THE START OF 2012 has been difficult for me. At the end of the year I was diagnosed with a stress fracture of my right knee, torn cartilage and benign cysts at the back of it. This meant that I have had to rest it – I feel as though I’ve had my wings clipped – and rest means keeping off it as much as possible. It has also meant that I have had to set aside all plans to return to Israel for any length of time.
My orthopaedic surgeon said that walking on the rough stone streets of Jerusalem would have aggravated my problem, although I am unsure of just how this would have begun. I return to the surgeon on 30th January for a review of the situation.
As though that was not enough, about 10 days ago I developed a severe cough and sore throat that left me quite debilitated, particularly at night. It was frightening coughing incessantly and gasping for breath. Although my doctor thought it may have been whooping cough, a throat swab showed that I have viral bronchitis. Whatever, the symptoms remain challenging. It may take time for this to resolve itself.
What am I learning through all this?
That no matter what I am going through, God is with me. No matter how uncertain the future – my God is with me. And He will never, ever let me down. He loves me, and He wants the best for me.
How I love Him – my LORD, and my God.
NEW YEAR – FRESH SLATE
AS WE STAND at the beginning of this New Year, we stand as though with a fresh slate before us. It reminds me of my first day of the school year, the first page of a new exercise book, fresh clean pages unmarked by pen or person – a whole heap of possibilities ahead. It doesn’t take too long for my plans for a fresh start to disappear. So it is with the start of a New Year. The excitement soon dissipates and along with it one’s hopes and dreams fade as the humdrum of life once again takes over.
I don’t want it to become that way this year! I want it to be different. This year I want to remain caught up in the wonder of my God, ever conscious of His love and grace, peace and joy. More than ever, I want to be caught up in being the person He wants me to be, and doing what He wants me to do. Not only that, I want to clarify what His vision is for me, and work towards accomplishing that.
I believe that 2012 will be a great year, a year when hopes and dreams will be fulfilled – particularly as we yield ourselves more fully to our God, and allow Him to be our Guide. With so much uncertainty all around us, of this we can sure – God is with us; He remains with us every step of life’s journey. Knowing that means that 2012 will be all that we would like it to be.
Life for me is one big adventure – as we step into this New Year, let us live it to the full in such a way that when we look back on it we will know that God is well pleased with us, and we feel satisfied with all we have accomplished.
Happy New Year! May 2012 be all you could hope for, and may the deep desires of your heart be met through our Lord and Saviour who loves us with an everlasting, amazing love!
Marketing my book
It’s two years since I published my autobiography – Peace and Freedom are My Names. That was quite a feat, even though I made some blunders along the way. One of my biggest concerns has been trying to market it. I am not one for promoting myself, nor do I find it easy to ask for assistance. However, for my book to sell, I need to do both.
Peace and Freedom are My Names is an inspiring account of my journey into and out of madness, a journey that was all-consuming for more than a decade. It was an incredibly lonely, frightening experience, one that I longed to escape from, but from which there was no escape.
After having ongoing bouts of depression over the years, I was eventually diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder – also known as complex post traumatic stress disorder. Along the way, I experienced significant anguish from family difficulties and from within the mental health sphere, as well as from churches.
However, had it not been for my strong faith in God, I would never have come through that lonely journey.
As those who’ve met would know, I did eventually emerge from that harrowing ordeal, coming to a place of peace and freedom, joy and contentment that I never thought possible. Peace and Freedom are My Names is the story of that journey.
All it needs now is for it to be marketed appropriately …. that is one of my projects for 2012.
